I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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