oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
