"it" just moved
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize