it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
