He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
