This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
