if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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