im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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