Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
