Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
