I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
