Non-Jews are for practice
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
