i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
