apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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