i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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