I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
