if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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