The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Damn victory sex feels great
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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