Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You are a booty call, not a friend.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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