You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
