honey bunches of taint.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
