If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I forgot how hot balto sounded
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
