Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
