I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
