It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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