I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
