We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
