Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
