Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
