Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I am one with the molecules
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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