Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
