It's like a parade of train wrecks.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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