we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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