great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
His hands were made for my vagina.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
