Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
