He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
