omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
sarcasm needs its own font
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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