Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize