Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
