remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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