Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
