She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
