well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
