No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
