She is in my trunk
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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