i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize