lets start a swedish sibling band together
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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