just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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