there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I am naked and annoyed.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
