And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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