Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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