just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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