please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
