kristin has been a bad kristin
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
