Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize