dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
worst night to have a conscience
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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