playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
