You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
MIDGETS
????
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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