woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
