Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
