i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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