You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
