I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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