What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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