The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
