Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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