It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
