did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
