you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
