trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
