im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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