if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
