i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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