The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
