His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
