Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
