based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize