I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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