She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
