please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize