Midget sex pt 2 tonight
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Your penis caused this!
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize