she looked like the before picture.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
